One word Brown addresses the media

With his stunning model like features and his flawless perfectly fitted suit, Young up and coming rookie manager Adam "RKO" Brown was oozing class and professionalism as he faced the media after completing his first week in his new role as High Chief Team Coach Manager...

He sat alongside some of his high profile signings David Beckham, Joe Cole, Lukas Podolski as he faced a barrage of questions and the flashes of the bulbs of the cameras that were trying to get snaps of this talented specimen.

"Mr Brown, This is Ben Dover from Sky Sports News, You have made some very shrewd acquistions in the transfer market, What are you hopes and dreams for the upcoming season?"

Brown looked deep in thought for about 10 seconds and finally responded with a wry smile "Champions" as he stood up, re arranged his private area and skipped off into the canteen for some tea and crumpets leaving Beckham, Cole and Podolski nodding approvingly.

He is already being dubbed in the media as "stong but silent" "lets his management do the talking" "Likes to dress up in womens clothes" etc but when asked about his fellow peers Brown flew out with a string of profanities about one inparticular..

Press: So have you taken much time to get to know your fellow Managers

Brown: No

Press: None of them?

Brown: Some?

Press: Which ones of you spoken to?

Brown: Heckman, McCarthy, Cole and Pumfleet

Press: Ah so the manager of Inter, Real, Bayern and Arsenal, How have you found them?

Brown: Map

Press: No sorry think you misunderstood, What do you make of them?

Brown: Sound

Press: Errr ok... Ummm is there anyone that you havent taken to?

Brown: Yes

Press: Care to elaborate?

Brown: Well.... I cannot abide certain indivduals who flounce around signing footballers left right and centre merely to satisfy there greed and not for their ability, I genuinely believe you should only purchase a talent if you plan to use said talent to fulfilll your burning desire to suceed in this game. I can only aspire to eclipse the late great Sir Erbert Hubalump... If i had a smidgen...NAY a speck of that mans natural born attributes i will fucking walk this league.... Oh and the Chelsea manager is a poomplex of the highest proportion

Press: Ohhhh ok i think that will be all Mr Brown, Good luck for your game tomorrow against Valencia.

Brown: Luck? luck..luck...Hmm I dont need luck, I have the almighty God on my side and divine intervention will strike down and i will triumph by 3 goals to his measly return of 1 goal.

Brown leaves to a chrous of "For hes a jolly good fellow" led by the Television X reporter wearing the shiny latex hotpants called Eugene.