Real Madrid fans burn paper mache versions of Ramon Calderon.

Real Madrid fans were all over the news last night after protests against Real Madrid president Ramon Calderon after appointing former CD Jávea youth team coach Rob Heckman.

The news was announced at about 3pm yesterday afternoon after Bernd Schuster was sacked for being grumpy. As soon as the fans heard about this they went mental running to the streets burning paper mache versions of Mr Calderon. Five people were arrested after beating a Calderon lookalike up - The lookalike is ok and has told press that he actually felt priviledged thinking that he looked like Calderon.

After hearing this, Rob Heckman assured the fans that he was going to bring succes,laughs,goals,fit wags and the best to the Bernabeu. ''I intend to win everything this season and make us the best club in the world once again and with this squad I believe we can achieve this.''